A. Jan Marcussen, National Sunday Law (2012)

A Jan Marcussen National Sunday Law front cover

A Jan Marcussen National Sunday Law back coverSo, if we have this straight—the attacks of 9-11 are a sign that we are reaching the end of times. And the Pope (yes, you, Francis!) is the Beast.

Of course, Marcussen first published this book in 1983, so he’s been banging this the-world-is-ending gong for three decades now.

Like Ellen White’s The Great Controversy, National Sunday Law is another one of these loony tracts that you can only laugh at with its dubious logic and pretensions to wisdom. And like White’s rant, Marcussen’s also arrived in our heathen hands via our mailbox—it was mass mailed without our requesting it.

Get a copy!



Arthur Naiman, Every Goy’s Guide to Common Jewish Expressions (1981)

Every Goys Guy to Common Jewish Expressions front coverEvery Goys Guy to Common Jewish Expressions back cover

Where was this book when we moved to New Yawk in 1993?

Hopeful rubes from Ohio, our hapless goyim brains got lost in a sea of incomprehensible utterances—schmuck! shmutz!¬†shlemiel! shicksa! schtick! schmaltz! shvantz!

So many of the books listed on this blog are good for nothing but laughs. We mock them, then we pitch them in the recycling bin.

Naiman’s Every Goy’s Guide is both funny and a keeper.

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C.M. Kornbluth, The Marching Morons (1959)

The Marching Morons front coverThe Marching Morons back coverMost of the books we mention on this blog are laughably bad—we only encourage readers to buy them to give as gag gifts.

This book is an exception.

Sure, it would make a great gag gift for, say, anyone who works at Initech or in a bureaucracy, where willful stupidity is commonplace. This book’s caustic title also might appeal to police officers and those individuals whose jobs put them in contact with crowds.

But the Marching Morons is a good read. Kornbluth is in the pantheon of science fiction writers. So, that makes this funny book cover a twofer!

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William Edwin Pratt Practical Skunk Raising (1915)

William Edwin Pratt Practical Skunk Raising 1915Sure, we have heard of folks having skunks for pets—but the existential question is, WHY? Why not some other animal that doesn’t have a hideously stinky scent? And a more particular question is, “Has anyone ever made a profit selling skunks?” Ah, the mysteries of mankind…

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Barbara Morris and Alice Roberts, Gourmet Sour Cream Cookery (1974)

Gourmet Sour Cream Cookery front coverGourmet Sour Cream Cookery back cover

Mmmmm, sour cream for breakfast, sour cream for lunch, and sour cream for dinner.

Why so much sour cream? Simple–you should eat it “for health and economy” the subtitle declares.

Don’t get us wrong—sour cream is tasty.

But we think the authors oversell its virtue a wee bit. Sure, sour creme can make bitter vegetables more palatable—mostly by obliterating their flavor.

Really, do we need sour cream in a recipe for “chocolate dream cookies”? Or how about in a batch of “lemon cookies”? We think not.

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E.G. White, The Great Controversy (2011?)

The Great Controversy front coverThe Great Controversy back cover

This is typical of the¬†bad-craziness religious prophesy books one comes across from time to time. Here is how this book portrays mankind’s near future:

“The people of God—some in prison cells, some hidden in solitary retreats in the forests and mountains—still plead for divine protection, while in every corner companies of armed men, urged on by hosts of evil angels , are preparing for the work of death.”

We got a copy of this in the mail. Why? Beats us. Who sent it? Who knows.

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Dr. Richard Jacob and Reverend Owen Thomas, How to Live with a Huge Penis (2009)

How to Live With a Huge PenisHow to Live With a Huge Penis backcover

“Complete with prayers, poetry, a daily affirmations journal, and thoughtful quotations from leading self-help experts, How to Live with a Huge Penis will inspire men of all shapes and sizes.”

Is this a joke? Does anyone really believe this is an affliction?

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Charlotte Montgomery, How to Shop Wisely (1964)

Source: FunnyBookCovers.Wordpress.com

Source: FunnyBookCovers.Wordpress.com

This title is part of the marvelous Amy Vanderbilt Success Program, a series that featured other fine titles like “How to Help Your Husband Get Ahead” and “Casserole Cookery.” This book, no doubt, would make a welcome Valentine’s Day gift for the lady in your life. (We suggest wearing head protection when you hand it over.)

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Avery Monsen and Jory John, All My Friends Are Dead (2010)

Want to give your little one an early existential crisis—well, this book will do it!

And if the kiddo is not sufficiently despondent after reading it, well, you can order the sequel:

All My friends Still Are Dead (2012)!

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Barry H. Downing, The Bible and Flying Saucers (1970)

Because CLEARLY these two subjects are connected!

The front cover pitches this as “a thought-provoking inquiry into the evidence linking ancient astronauts and the Bible” and brags, “175,000 copies in print!” Clearly, the suckers will be with us always.

Downing used rigorous scientific thinking to claim, as the ever useful Wikipedia notes, that “Jesus was an extraterrestrial sent to earth to rid the world of sin and wickedness, he cited biblical lines such as Jesus was from another world (John 8: 23) to support his claims, Downing also believed that Jesus left earth in a flying saucer to another planet, or perhaps another spatial dimension.” As of 2009, Downing was still preaching the UFO-Bible nexus.

Get a copy!

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